Turns out I've got this

condition called HSD

(sounds like the name

of a construction firm)

So I am forced to consider

that this is not my fault

and in the black and white

red all-over newspaper

of my mind I review every

instance of self blame

and all of the ways that

I have punished my body

for its weakness and

dragged my poor carcass

to the brink -- to think

that I came from the mold

cracked already is not much

comfort.

                          Hypermobility

spectrum disorder doesn't

sound much like anything

so I start calling myself

Crustacean Girl hoping

that putting on a new shell

a new home new furniture

clicking my claws in the air

dancing sideways etcetera

will be healing but by now

I'm afraid I don't have much

faith in what the sea can do.

Good thing Crustacean Girl

doesn't need faith to survive.